"To become someone who takes care of those around me” has consistently made my top three annual goals every single year. Its permanent place on that list also means this isn’t something I came by naturally, so I have to work on it. I’m reserved by nature, and just saying one warm word makes me squirm, so the way I've found to express myself is this: gift-giving.

I give gifts when I’m grateful to someone or sorry, and when I want to offer comfort or encouragement. Honestly, I often give gifts for no particular reason—simply because I quite like the idea of myself as a 'gift-giver.' My go-to gifts are homemade healthy treats, since I think they carry as much care as a handwritten letter. The timeless truth that “whoever gives you something delicious is a good person” didn’t come from nowhere. As a self-proclaimed professional gift-giver, I'd like to think I'm pretty good at picking them, too. Here are the three criteria for choosing a gift that I’ve worked out for myself over years of trial and error.

One. Give what you love, in the way you can manage. A gift is, in the end, a matter of the giver’s heart. So I tend to go through the things I love and pick whichever one the other person wouldn't mind. I make whatever treat I feel like making, unless they have an allergy or an outright dislike. That way the giving stays fun for me, and that’s what keeps me going.

Two. Make it look good. There’s a reason the word “gift” conjures up an image of a colorful box tied with a ribbon: a gift is supposed to be pretty. Desserts look cuter when you pack them tightly into a small container. I'd recommend always having a roll of nice ribbon on hand. Tie one on, and it instantly looks far more like a gift.

Three. Add “that extra something.” Nothing essential, just a detail that’s nice to have. Say, a dessert everyone is talking about but no one can easily get hold of, or a food from a film you watched together, given for no special occasion at all. If a special memory is hard to work in, a homemade low-carb dessert does the job perfectly. The simple fact that it’s healthy, made without sugar or flour, is special enough on its own.

The Joy of Giving Gifts to Someone

I do “the work of giving” not only on weekends but on weekdays too, because at the Amorepacific Foundation I look after our arts and culture social contribution programs. This past June the Foundation ran a booth at the Seoul International Book Fair titled Heart Mending Shop: Empathy, drawing on 53 years of supported humanities research. Everyone who visited the booth left with a gift of time — a moment to reflect, through books and through empathy.

The Foundation also runs K-Beauty classes all over the world, giving people abroad who are drawn to K-culture the chance to experience the beauty of Korea firsthand. Everyone at the Foundation, in their own role, spends each day working out how to create experiences and opportunities that help, even a little, in talent development, arts and culture, and youth support. People who take part in our public-interest programs laugh, rest, and come away with something new. Watching them, a wave of satisfaction hits me: ‘We truly prepared a great gift.’ That is when my work feels most fulfilling.

I get told “What good work you do” pretty often in this job. It’s true! I really am doing “good work” — giving people experiences that mean something. It comes with its own frustrations, of course, but if a gift prepared with a great deal of thought and care can make someone’s day a little happier, and if it actually helps them in some practical way, then I can’t think of anything better. Making healthy desserts on the weekend and sharing them with the people around me comes from much the same place. The scale and the method differ, but the wish to share something good and make someone happy is exactly the same.

A Low-Carb Banana Pudding Recipe That Makes the Perfect Gift

Low-carb banana pudding is an outstanding dessert that clears every one of the exacting criteria for a good gift that I laid out at the top of this piece. Above all, I really! really! love it. The taste, obviously, but the making of it is fun too. Every so often I do what I can only describe as a banana-pudding kimjang—making large batches of banana pudding. Make the custard cream ahead of time, fold it together with the rest of the ingredients right before you hand the gift over, and you have enough to share with a crowd. On top of that, the soft pale-yellow color makes it look adorable the moment it goes into a container, so it ticks every single box. Hardly anywhere sells it, which throws scarcity in as that extra something as well. Here, then, is my Low-Carb Banana Pudding Recipe.

In the first column I talked about ways of giving myself a little more grace, and in the second I covered the routines I use to look after myself. This time I’ve tried to write about widening that warmth and sharing it with the people around me. A gift leaves my hands the moment I give it — yet, strangely, the pleasure seems to stay on my side far longer. So I want to keep being someone whose hobby and particular talent is “gift giving.” Someone who does a quarterly banana-pudding kimjang, and who hands over a small dessert tied with a ribbon on a day that isn’t special at all.